Dear University of Iowa Graduate Admissions,
I wish to attend the University of Iowa to obtain my Masters degree in Computer Science. Having graduated from Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, one of America’s top engineering schools, with a degree in Computer Science and a minor in Biomedical Engineering, I feel that I have the dedication to become a successful member of your graduate program. My strong aptitude towards mathematics and the sciences, combined with numerous research experiences, reflects my continued interest in the field of Computer Science.
I attended Rose-Hulman to receive a challenging, yet rewarding, engineering education. Through the course of my education, I worked on many different projects and had several different jobs all relating to computer science. Some of the projects completed during my time at Rose-Hulman include: building a UNIX based OS; creating a general purpose processor and a language to run on it; and creating a web application for code review.
My internship experience is extensive. My Freshman summer, I was a research assistant at Western Psychiatric Hospital in Pittsburgh, PA. During this time, I wrote code that analyzed brain patterns from MRI scans. Following that, I became employed at Rose-Hulman Ventures, a venture capital company where I wrote code to monitor the residents of assisted living communities. Finally, after completing a year long internship with Rockwell Collins where I built a testing tool still used today, I was hired as a full-time employee and continue to work on our new cryptography chip.
The graduate program will offer me the opportunity to explore several additional interests fostered from my experiences. My interest in Biomedical Engineering, in particular DNA, is one such interest. While attending college, I have done several presentations and authored articles on the topic of DNA computing. I am also fascinated with Distributed Computing and Cryptography, two fields that I have studied extensively. Distributed Computing is a topic I find very fascinating because it is a subject that uses unconventional means to solve complex issues. At Rockwell Collins, I work for a team that is developing a powerful new cryptographic tool. I hope to expand my knowledge and make further strides in the research on any of the above fields. I know a graduate program would allow me to do this.
I believe that the graduate program in Computer Science at the University of Iowa is an ideal program for me because it would allow me to explore my specific interests while being exposed to other specialties as well.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to future correspondences.
Sincerely,
Alex Halfcent
(Names have been hidden to protect the innocent and I’m editing it as people give me corrections)
Comments:
Alex, Your letter has a few mistakes in it. If you have not send it to the University, I would encourage you to have someone proof for you. If you do not have anyone available, let me know and I will be happy to put my spin on it.
Have a good one and good luck with the Grad program.
Posted by Tim at 07:47 PM on October 20, 2006
You forgot a comma.
Posted by Mills at 06:56 AM on October 21, 2006
Jesus, you’re fucking right! How could I have been so inept. BTW who are you Tim? I know 8 Tims
Posted by Halfcent at 11:44 AM on October 21, 2006
I don’t think you need to start off saying “My name is…” Your ending signature will be enuf.
Posted by anonymous at 03:30 PM on October 21, 2006
Never start two consecutive sentences with the same word. Your first three start by saying “I”, along with 4 of your first 5 paragraphs. Easy to lose interest when everything sounds the same. That’s my suggestion. Definately have someone proof it for you, either someone VERY experienced in writing, or a professional (you might be able to get job placement agencies to do this for you or something along those lines). Your grammer and punctuation need some work, so that’s why get someone experienced. Good luck!
Posted by Greg at 12:08 AM on October 23, 2006
Did you take my bosses suggestions? If you need her to take a second look let me know.
Posted by your sister at 09:04 AM on October 23, 2006
Ok I think I made all the corrections I need. Thanks for all the help everyone. Except for you Mills. You’re a damn douche. I really ought to have made this in to a wiki.
Posted by Halfcent at 09:50 PM on October 23, 2006
“where I wrote code **to monitored** the residents of assisted living communities.”
WRONG! 😛
Posted by Rodzik at 10:05 AM on October 25, 2006
thanks for the reminder Rodzik, I made the fix. Holy shit I just d/l the new Firefox and its spell checking things I type in forms!
Posted by halfcent at 08:18 PM on October 25, 2006