When my best friends get partners, I sometimes feel like I don’t exist. Notice I say partners because half of my best friends are gay. Seriously weird on that one. Then again I was thinking about as it as I was driving today, I think I get a long way better with gay dudes that straight guys. Not that I myself am gay, but that my personality tends to lean more towards eccentricity. To come out as gay and even be a bit fem gay I think makes a person more willing to accept themselves. Though oddly enough my two gay best friends act way straighter than me, so maybe they like me so much because prior to coming out they could get their “gay” friend fix by hanging out with me a straight guy who has a tendency to break gaydar. Though honestly I still have no idea what I do to do this. I mean is talking with yours hands, telling stories, and preferring to not get dirty really that bizzare?
Anyway back to my original point. My besties are dating and I feel left out. They don’t call as much and they go on adventures without me. They have this entire life that I’m not a part of and it makes me sad. Probably just the narcissist in me coming out wanting to be the center of attention. Eitherway it’s a bit lonely feeling. Greg and Liam now, Schroeder has Kyle, Vince and Alexandra (I haven’t heard from him since they got married). Jessica has Pat, though I will say maybe its just the proximity but I get to see them all the time 🙂 In Denver though who knows. Couples ignore singles its the fact of life. I’m sure I did the same thing when I was in a relationship. Though in my defense Beth hated my friends, and Joy also seemed so socially awkward and indifferent to everyone. Which was handy in getting my way, but also very boring.
I seriously think my posts have become so much more emo as of late. I look over my college ones and man I seemed such a different level of happy. I’m glad I write these though. Looking back on old posts is so fun to me. I still need to incorporate Blog 2.0 with this 3.0 word press version. Why did I decided to right my own customs application in Blog 2.0 ugh…. Bringing 1.0 was funny I literally copied and pasted all the entries in manually since it was just a big word document with no rhyme or reason. For 2.0 I have to write and XML parser and general SQL injections based on it should be annoyingly fun.