I’m sick. I mean I’m not acting sick. My symptoms are almost non-existent. I sweat while I sleep. That may be an understatement. I sweat a lot while I’m sleeping… for like a month. It’s annoying, so, so annoying. So, I went to the doctor and was like “please I am tired of waking up drenched in my own grossness” So they took my blood and said Hey we’ll figure something out. Two hours later I got some results. Not enough to tell a real Dr. anything, but plenty for Dr. Google. So, I got down a rabbit hole to identify what rare tropical disease I have. I’ve convinced myself I have leukemia. You know blood cancer, cause why not. They aren’t letting me know what I have so why not just assume I’ll be dead in a month. This morbid line of thinking starts making me terrified about not being around for Teddy as he gets older. I knew if I died Kate would be sad, but she’s got seven great years with me and would eventually bounce back. Losing your dad on the other hand that’s too sad for words. Especially since this point in Teddy’s existence we wouldn’t even remember me. So, I fret and worry all weekend.
Come Monday still no response. So, I reach out to Leanne aka my cool Dr. friend who aint got any time for my bullshit. She basically tells me your body is probably finding an infection and you’ll be fine. I say, “What about this horrible blood cancer” and her response was… “I wasn’t aware you got your md, did an internal medicine residency and then a hematology and oncology fellowship! You’ve been busy!” hmmm I probably am not going to die. Well, at least not soon. Great example of Dunning Kruger Effect in action!