“Love is that itching, burning sensation when you pee. Some might call it ‘The clap’ but I don’t speak spanish, so I call it love.”
“Love is like a big sack full of white castle slyders. Both are sought while you are drunk off your ass and while great at first, in the end you will wonder what the hell you had been thinking.”
“Love is understanding that sometimes beating a level or getting to save a point in Splinter Cell is more important than cuddling.”
“Love is a perfectly good reason to get drunk on a Tuesday afternoon.”
“Love is a tube sock and memories of my best friend’s sister. Happy Valentines Day, and I’m sorry Dan!”
“Love is a sacred bond between a man and a woman…until she sobers up. ”
“Love is never having to say ‘Your dad exposed himself to me that weekend in Chautauqua and I’ve been too afraid to tell you.’ ”
“Love is gay, unless you actually are gay, in which case it is just whatever, unless you are a lesbian, in which case it is effing awesome.”
All of the above are stolen, so don’t be bitching at me for plagarism