So much has been going on since I have been back, but I have been procrastinating posting because I wanted to have on final Entry about Italy, so here goes…
Lesson Learned From Going to the Boot Country
– When ever you ask an Italian if they Speak English, the answer 90% of the time will be “a Little”, followed by a stream of fluent English
– I have the worst luck ever at hitting on woman, one girl who looked younger than me was married, ring to prove it… another who looked older than me turned out to only be 17 and was with her parents.
– Do the Traveling salesman problem well or you’ll spend half your trip on a train going somewhere
– Beware of creepy dirty Italians who notice your American accent, and wish to have a deep conversation about Politics and Conspiracy
– If a Random Italian dude starts hugging you either tell him to Fuck Off or make sure you still have your wallet, camera, cell phone, passport, IPod, game boy, backpack, purse, and anything else that isn’t surgically attached to you.
– Jesus is everywhere! Paintings, random walls across cities, sculptures, and its always of Jesus being born, or about to die. Just once I’d like to see a painting of Jesus in his awkward teen years when all the little Jewish kids are making fun of his generic name brand sandals and acne problems.
– Say no to Cow Stomach, yes you are in a foreign country, but I’ll be damned if I ever eat organ meet again. Though it did help me visualize a bit for my tissue engineering class.
– Italians have no modern music. All they play is music from America.
– Ghetto and Goth wannabe Italians are dressed in a like a fashionable version of their American counter parts, its rather funny. Though coordinating black with black isn’t exactly hard.
– Clubs don’t open till 1 AM and god only knows when they close.
– Velvet Ropes and Museum Ladies are my new Archnemsis.
– Italians always fuck up Lasagna, what’s up with that?
– Hotels generally don’t have shower curtains, so make it appoint to not leave your clothes on the floor in the bathroom; otherwise you’ll have soggy bottoms.
– Beware anyone trying to give you something you perceive as free ever.
– Not speaking Italian is the best way to get out of any situation, make sure you start speaking English really loudly and start panicking a bit, who’s ever harassing you will just walk away.
– European Maxims are like soft-core porn equivalents compared to here, damn our puritan way of life.