There was a code developed by ancient tribes people, in an ancient land, that, still to this day, delivers us proper public urination etiquette. Discovered in 1923, these commandmen- er, guidelines that were found by a man named Mos- er, Benny, are as follows.
First Urination Rule: Thou shall not pee within 5 feet of another person whom is neither peeing nor not peeing- This one is common courtesy, really- there’s a whole world out there that you can pee on, pick another spot.
Second Urination Rule: Thou shall not pee on another’s property- This means that cars, houses, grills, visiting younger siblings- none of which should be touched with your stream of power.
Third Urination Rule: Thou shall not pee in the presence of law enforcement- I’ve seen this happen to too many people, and I don’t want it to happen to you. Friends don’t let friends, go near the 5-0
Fourth Urination Rule: Thou shall write his or her name in the snow whenst snow lay before thee- Ladies I’m sorry. I know it’s going to be tougher, but it’s a code made by the ancients, don’t quarrel with me.
Fifth Urination Rule: Thou shalleth be drunketh if thee need to pee among the trees- Under no circumstances should one pee outside. Now you may be thinking “what about camping? Haha I got you, asshole”, and to that I say, if you are camping- you SHOULD be drunk.
Sixth Urination Rule: If thou should be on the phone during urination, thou must inform the person to whom thou are talking with- No real logical reason for having to do this, but it’s a great ice-breaker I’m sure. “What are you doing”, “Well actually…”
Seventh Urination Rule: Thou shall take ones drink with thee to pee- In with the good, out with the bad.
Eighth and Final Urination Rule: Thou shall not fuck with anyone whom is peeing outside, unless this person is dishonoring one of the above rules- The punishment is to be peed on. Sick, glad I didn’t live during those times.